MensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex
  • Nutrition
  • Style
  • Weight Loss
  • Life
  • Podcasts
  • Subscribe
  • Motoring
  • Video
MensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex
  • Nutrition
  • Style
  • Weight Loss
  • Life
  • Podcasts
  • Subscribe
  • Motoring
  • Video
Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic
Watch 0:10

Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic

{headline}

{headline}

4 Things Your Partner Secretly Wants You To Do In Bed

4 Things Your Partner Secretly Wants You To Do In Bed

4 Out of 5 Women Want You to Do This In Bed

4 Out of 5 Women Want You to Do This In Bed

11 Hilarious Threesome Stories From People Who Seriously Regret It

11 Hilarious Threesome Stories From People Who Seriously Regret It

What It's Like to Throw a Sex Party for a Friend

What It's Like to Throw a Sex Party for a Friend

{headline}

{headline}

40 Per Cent Of Women Are Lying To You About This In Bed

40 Per Cent Of Women Are Lying To You About This In Bed

Here's How Often People Actually Masturbate

Here's How Often People Actually Masturbate

What Do Asexual People Fantasise About

What Do Asexual People Fantasise About

{headline}

{headline}

This Little Trick Can Stop Your Partner From Cheating On You

This Little Trick Can Stop Your Partner From Cheating On You

How to Talk Dirty Without Being a Jerk

How to Talk Dirty Without Being a Jerk

5 Common Sex Dreams and What They Mean

5 Common Sex Dreams and What They Mean

Why She’ll Thank You For Having Sex With Her On The Kitchen Bench

Why She’ll Thank You For Having Sex With Her On The Kitchen Bench

5 Things That Are Probably On Her Sexual Bucket List

5 Things That Are Probably On Her Sexual Bucket List

These Are The Celebrities People Want To Have A Threesome With

These Are The Celebrities People Want To Have A Threesome With

How To Find The Third Person For Your Threesome

How To Find The Third Person For Your Threesome

  1. Home
  2. Sex

Why Women Are Fantasising About This Type of Threesome

According to a small recent study, this type of ménage à trois is a lot more common than you think - by Sofia Barrett-Ibarria
  • 14 Nov 2017
Why Women Are Fantasising About This Type of Threesome
Getty Images

“The Eiffel Tower is such a thing,” says Rachel* (names have been changed to protect sources' privacy), a 25-year-old recent college graduate. To be clear, Rachel isn't referring to the iconic Parisian landmark: she's referring to a slang term for a sex position where a woman is on all fours and giving oral sex to one man, while another man has sex with her from behind. What makes it an Eiffel Tower is when the two men high-five each other, forming the point of what is basically a squirmy, sloppy triangle. "It's one of the best parts," she gushes.

Rachel is polyamorous, which means she is in relationships with multiple partners — in this case, two men. They both know each other, and they're cool with Rachel having sex with each of them individually. Rachel says they're also turned on by the idea of “sharing” her, which means that occasionally, they'll all have sex at the same time.

RELATED: What Women Really Think About Threesomes, Dirty Talk, and Anal

Before she met her boyfriends, Rachel had had a few threesomes with other women. But guy-guy threesomes are a favorite of hers — and, Rachel adds, they are severely underrated. Being the “center of attention” and having the power to “call the shots” during sex with two men, Rachel says, is “the most empowering experience.”

Threesomes are a common fantasy: according to a 2016 Archives of Sexual Behavior study, 82 percent of heterosexual men and 31 percent of heterosexual women have fantasized about having a menage a trois at one point or another. While that study didn't specify what type of threesome people most often fantasized about, girl-girl-guy has typically been considered the gold standard of threesomes, with a separate study indicating that one in three menhave fantasized about being in the middle of a two-lady sandwich. But that doesn't necessarily mean your partner will be into it. Morgan*, 24, hates girl-girl-guy threesomes because "the other girl isn't always that skilled at [giving me] pleasure,” she says. That's why she prefers having sex with two men at the same time.

RELATED: 12 Couples Were Asked "Would You Ever Have A Threesome?" Here's What They Said

Morgan, Rachel, and their partners aren’t alone in their love of MMF threeways. According to researcher Dr. Ryan Scoats of Birmingham City University, who got his PhD. studying threesomes, five of the 30 men he surveyed had had a threesome with a man. While that sample size is admittedly small, he told Broadly that he got the sense that while MMF threesomes would have been "more stigmatized" in the past, the men he polled "did seem comfortable telling at least their friends that they'd had an MMF threesome. I think because of the reduction of homophobia in general within society, this allows men to have these kinds of threesomes with no fear about what others are going to think of them for it." Scoats also cited previous research supporting the idea that straight, working-class guys in the United Kingdom are increasingly participating in "emotional intimacy and physical tactility" with each other.

The idea that straight men are becoming increasingly comfortable with same-sex experimentation isn't necessarily new. According to author and sociologist Jane Ward, who wrote Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (which famously spawned the phrase "bro jobs"), it's not uncommon for straight dudes to engage in sexual acts with each other without self-identifying as gay or bisexual. Sexual fluidity, the idea that sexual orientation and attraction to a particular gender can ebb, flow, and change over time, is becoming more socially acceptable: while there's an idea that women are inherently more sexually fluid than men, Ward attributes this to “long-held beliefs about the fundamental difference between men and women that are not accurate.”

RELATED: 8 Very Honest People Share What It's Really Like To Have A Threesome

That doesn't necessarily mean that guy-guy-girl threesomes have to necessarily involve guy-on-guy contact (hence, the anxiety over "crossing swords," or how the Lonely Island music video for "Threeway" — featuring the line "it's not gay if it's in a threeway" — became a cultural punchline). But even if two men are having sex with one woman at the same time and not interacting with each other at all, the MMF three-way is still highly stigmatized.

“I think there’s a stigma that men feel that if they engage in play with another man present, that it is gay or that it means they like men. While this may be the case [if the two men are gay], it doesn't have to be at all. It can just be about pleasure or an experience,” says Nicoletta Heidegger, a sexologist based in Los Angeles.

For Alex*, a heterosexual, 28-year-old freelance cinematographer, MMF threesomes aren’t about the other guy at all — and he’s had several, with different partners. “I love facilitating a girl’s fantasy of being with two guys," he says. “I enjoy doing my best to give her as much pleasure as possible, and then watching someone else extend the pleasurable experience for her." (Watching another dude have sex with your partner is actually a pretty common fetish: according to Pornhub Insights, searches for the term "cuckolding," or watching your wife have sex with another man, have increased substantially in the past few years.)

RELATED:  Men's Health's 20 Greatest Ever Sex Tips

Alex thinks a lot of the stigma surrounding MMF threeways derives not just from "homophobia," but also from a “sense of ownership” of the woman involved. Which makes sense: if you're not turned on the idea of watching your partner have sex with someone else, group sex can often incite jealousy, no matter what the third party's gender is. That's why it's important to have an open conversation with your partner about your boundaries and your desires before having a threesome, regardless of who's invited into the mix.

FFM may be most couples’ go-to when venturing into the wide world of open relationships or group sex, but if you’re both into it, it's worth considering MMF as part of the rotation. “It’s rare for a girl to feel safe enough to ask, follow through, and allow you to be involved,” Alex says. But when it works, it can be a lot of fun for everyone involved. “If you think it’s hot, it’s hot,” Rachel says.

This article originally appeared on Men's Health

Subscribe Now-

Subscribe Now
Subscribe Now

Subscribe Now-

Subscribe Now
Subscribe Now

Recommended to you

Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic
Watch 0:10

Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic

{headline}

{headline}

4 Things Your Partner Secretly Wants You To Do In Bed

4 Things Your Partner Secretly Wants You To Do In Bed

4 Out of 5 Women Want You to Do This In Bed

4 Out of 5 Women Want You to Do This In Bed

11 Hilarious Threesome Stories From People Who Seriously Regret It

11 Hilarious Threesome Stories From People Who Seriously Regret It

What It's Like to Throw a Sex Party for a Friend

What It's Like to Throw a Sex Party for a Friend

{headline}

{headline}

40 Per Cent Of Women Are Lying To You About This In Bed

40 Per Cent Of Women Are Lying To You About This In Bed

Here's How Often People Actually Masturbate

Here's How Often People Actually Masturbate

What Do Asexual People Fantasise About

What Do Asexual People Fantasise About

{headline}

{headline}

This Little Trick Can Stop Your Partner From Cheating On You

This Little Trick Can Stop Your Partner From Cheating On You

How to Talk Dirty Without Being a Jerk

How to Talk Dirty Without Being a Jerk

5 Common Sex Dreams and What They Mean

5 Common Sex Dreams and What They Mean

Why She’ll Thank You For Having Sex With Her On The Kitchen Bench

Why She’ll Thank You For Having Sex With Her On The Kitchen Bench

5 Things That Are Probably On Her Sexual Bucket List

5 Things That Are Probably On Her Sexual Bucket List

These Are The Celebrities People Want To Have A Threesome With

These Are The Celebrities People Want To Have A Threesome With

How To Find The Third Person For Your Threesome

How To Find The Third Person For Your Threesome

MensHealth
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Terms
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Statement
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Terms
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Statement

Brands

  • Women's Health

Our Network

  • Paragon Media Pty Ltd
© 2021 Are Media PTY LTD
Get more from Men's Health

Magazine Subscription Offer

Subscribe Now-

Shop This Offer
Subscribe Now