Their results showed that the most common answers to that questions were:
- "I didn't want my partner to feel bad"
- "I wanted to make my partner feel good"
- "I was sexually satisfied, but did it because I felt it was 'expected' to end the encounter"
- "I wanted the sexual encounter to end"
Given that research shows only 25 per cent of women orgasm during every sexual encounter (compared to 90 per cent of men), an Oscar-worthy performance between the sheets is hardly surprising. So how can you reduce to likelihood of a faux O?
"Nine times out of 10 it's because [the woman isn't] getting enough continuous clitoral stimulation," Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, told Women's Health. "A woman will get close to orgasm, her partner picks up on it, and [then he either] orgasms immediately or changes what he was doing."
That's why Dr. Kerner frequently recommends the woman-on-top position. Because you control the angle and speed of the thrusts (try a back-and-forth motion so that your clitoris rubs against your partner's abdomen), it allows for the most constant clitoral stimulation. A study published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that nearly 37 per cent of women need clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm, compared with 18 per cent of women who said that vaginal penetration alone was enough to come.
There's no hard and fast rule for determining whether a woman you're attempting to satisfy has climaxed or whether she's faking an orgasm. Your best bet is to just ask her. This can encourage an open and judgement-free discussion about what's working for her and what isn't.