Yep, you've probably heard of it, and most likely in regard to girl-on-girl action. The sex position-slash-method is often considered the (really, a) go-to way for queer women to have sex, but it's definitely not the only way they can. Nor is it an off-limits move for anyone else who wants get it on.
"Scissoring allows for a very intimate connection," says Peter Kanaris, PhD, a psychologist and sex therapist in Smithtown. "The genital-to-genital contact is very arousing and can enhance not only the physical pleasure, but the emotional arousal as well."
Scissoring is also a unique and exciting position that you and your partner(s) of any gender or orientation can manipulate any way you want so that it feels new every single time.
Here's everything to know about what scissoring is and how to do it:
1. Scissoring is pretty much exactly what it sounds like.
While scissoring might be new to you, there’s actually nothing new about the move, says Kanaris.
The position requires that you and your partner lie on your sides and intertwine your legs like two pairs of opened scissors coming together and meeting in the middle. You’ll know you’re in position when your genitals touch. Then, with a little (a lot, actually) grinding and rubbing up against your partner, you’ll well on your way to O Town.
2. You don't have to lie down to scissor, per se.
The sky’s the limit when it comes to scissoring and its many adaptations. Once you’ve got the basic lying-down setup down, you can take things up a notch.
“Scissoring can be done in any number of other positions,” says Kanaris. It can be asynchronous, meaning you might lie still while your partner rubs up against you, or you rub up against them while they stay put.
Other times, the grinding might not even take place in between your legs at all. Instead, Kanaris says you could sit on your partner’s lap and rub against their thigh or straddle their torso and rub yourself against their chest. Yup, as long as your legs are, well, split, and you're swiveling your hips and/or you're grinding, that's scissoring.
3. Scissoring is perfect for "outercourse."
Ever heard of it? Outercourse is when your partner's genitals (usually, in this case, a penis since it's an external organ) "rests against the genitalia, without penetration," Kanaris explains.
“Then, with gentle movement and a gradual increase in pressure,” you and your partner can get it on in a whole new way.
4. But it can also involve penetration.
Scissoring doesn't mean that you can't have penetrative fun—whether it's a finger, toy, or penis you want in their vagina, there's absolutely no reason to leave it out.
In fact, the beauty of scissoring, unlike the sometimes rushed brand of sex that can comes with typical thrusting, is that it forces you and your partner to slow things down, Kanaris says. So while you get the stimulation of having a body part or sex toy inside them, you also get the arousal of building intimacy.
5. Scissoring invites different muscles to the party.
If this position and technique isn’t something you’re used to, the new angle will force you to engage different leg and thigh muscles and rely on new gestures so that you and your partner can discover new ways to climax.
See how many times "new" showed up in that sentence? That can make sex even more pleasurable, Kanaris promises.
6. You might want to stretch a bit before scissoring.
On that note, if this is your first go, congrats…but also: Make sure to stretch, because those muscles need a little warm-up.
When scissoring, your glutes and thighs are going to be working overtime, and if you’re not loose and limber, there’s a good chance you’ll cramp up, Kanaris warns. If it happens, no biggie...but it's not exactly fun and sexy, and that's what you're going for here.
7. Scissoring doesn't have to happen naked.
When penetration isn’t what you’re after—tonight or ever—scissoring opens up the possibility for dry humping—which makes for really hot foreplay and can even sub for actual sex.
8. You can have a different scissoring experience every time.
If all of the above hasn't made this clear yet, here's this: “With a little imagination, intimate communication, and experimentation,” says Kanaris, scissoring can feel like a new move every time you and your partner go for it.
Describe your fantasy to your partner, ask them what would make them feel good, then test it out. Sure, every variation of scissoring won’t necessarily feel as good as the last—you might even knee your partner on occasion—but it’s this kind of sexcapade that'll keep the heat between the sheets.
9. You should probably bring lube.
Scissoring adds a lot of friction between legs and genitals, and chafing puts a huge damper on an orgasm. Using a little bit of lube can help prevent any raw rubbing (ouch)—and lube just makes sexing better.
10. You still need to use protection.
Of course, if you're hooking up with a woman and STIs aren't a concern (as in, you've both been tested), then this isn't so much of a concern. But if you're scissoring with a guy—and/or with a new partner—Kanaris says to make sure you use condoms (or dental dams). Some STIs can be spread by skin-to-skin contact (yes, even without penetration).
11. Let scissoring be whatever it means to you.
Like any sex act, scissoring doesn't need to be a defined, black-and-white item that you check off on a to-do list. Scissoring can look and feel however you want it to, so forget any expectations.
“Don’t get too hung up on, ‘Oh, am I doing it right?’” Kanaris says. “What is right is you and your partner having an enjoyable experience that’s fun and that’s safe.”
This article originally appeared on Women's Health
