We've all been there: You're in a normal situation, minding your own business, when suddenly you notice a disturbance downstairs. Maybe you wore loose pants that day, or worse, tight ones. Either way, something's going on, and you've got a raging erection in a place where it does not belong.
Most guys probably have a story about the most awkward time they've gotten inappropriately hard, and thanks to a recent reddit thread, we have a collection of some of the worst possible places to spring a stiffy. The thread asked, "Men, where's the worst place that you've had an erection?" and oh boy, did we get answers.
AT A FUNERAL
ON THE OPERATING TABLE BEFORE SURGERY
From Really_Quite_Boring: "On the operating table on my way down to surgery. THERE'S NOWHERE TO HIDE THE FEARBONER."
INTERFERING WITH SACRAMENTS
Studer391 had an uncomfortable experience with the Lord: "In line for confession. Oh Catholic school, what a wonderful time."
THE BUS AND THE BONER ARE RIGHT ON TIME
Eli_The_D shared a story from college: "Every day after class, I waited at the same bus stop and took the same bus home. The bus stop was across the street from the aerospace building and in front of the nuclear engineering building. For some reason I always had a throbbing erection in that spot despite being in the area with the smallest female to male ratio."
MORNING WOOD WITH STITCHES
Hastur_83 wins the award for most painful priapic phallus: "In my bed. Why? It's less of a "where" story, more like a "when." I was circumcised as an adult, luckily it wasn't cancer (yay, penis cancer) but the skin had to go. A month with stitches down there wasn't fun, but it wasn't the worst thing. The worst thing, by a long shot, was something I gave exactly zero thought before — "morning wood." Because there are few worse things than waking up to the feeling of stitches being torn out, out of your penis, because it's morning and it just has to get hard. All is well now."
TRAPPED IN A POOL AT THE GYM
MeOulSegosha was trapped in an uncomfortable place: "In a plunge pool at a gym I used to go to. I was naked, water was freezing, but for some reason it woke up the old John Thomas. Too cold to stay in the pool, too embarrassed to get out. Not ideal."
RawdogginYourMom shared a predictably obscene story about why you shouldn't mess with Viagra on a plane: "On a plane. I was going to see my ex and some old guys gave me some blue pills to have some extra fun. I panicked at security and popped 4 of them. The fucked up part was that I was seated between two women, and got all the bad side effects. I spent 4 hours on a plane with a raging hard-on, a headache, and a stuffy nose. I drank 4 beers trying to calm myself down. I had to take a piss halfway through the flight and didn’t dare to stand up because I didn’t want to risk taking anyone’s eye out."
This article originally appeared on Men's Health