There’s big, really big, and then there’s “what the hell did your mother feed you as a child!?” big.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet Roberto Esquivel Cabrera. The 54-year-old, hailing from Mexico, claims to have the world’s largest penis, and despite health warnings (and the obvious fact he can’t have sex) it ain’t going anywhere.
Apparently, it’s a pride thing: in Latin culture, larger penises are considered more macho, which is why Cabrera is more than happy to leave his python as be, reports The Daily Mail.
Apart from the havoc that Cabrera’s humongous penis has wreaked on his sex life, he has to keep it wrapped in bandages to prevent chafing, as well as sleeping chest down with his penis on a little pillow to sleep peacefully through the night.
We’ll stop you there for a second because we know what you’re thinking: 18.9 inches sounds like bullshit. You’re half right… here’s the strange catch
Cabrera’s penis glands stretch only 7 inches, which means the remaining 12 inches is mostly foreskin and blood vessels, The Daily Mail reports.
The 54-year-old revealed to doctors that he has been wrapping bands with weights attached around his erect penis since his teenage years in order to stretch it out. Sounds a bit like cheating to us.
Despite being able to walk around in a crowd of millions and know you have the largest penis, having a dick that big is not all it’s cocked up to be. All that extra foreskin has lead to multiple urinary tract infections (UTIs), and the Mexican government actually considers his dick to be a disability that prevents Cabrera from working.
“I cannot wear a uniform like anybody in the companies and also I cannot get on my knees,” he told Barcroft TV. “I cannot run fast and so the companies think badly of me.”
But don’t feel bad for Cabrera (if jealousy hasn’t already consumed you), who’s more than happy with his monster dong.
“I am happy with my penis,” said Cabrera. “I don’t feel sad because I know in the U.S. there is a lot of women. One of them will be the right size for me. I would like to be a porn star and I think I would make a lot of money over there.”
We’re not sure he’ll have much luck finding a woman capable of handling his third leg, but we wish Mr. Cabrera all the best in his search.