Many things go through a woman’s head when she sees a guy’s penis for the first time.
“Is it too soon?” is top of mind for some. But “I hope his penis is pretty” isn’t even on the list.
And yet, men still obsess over the appearance of their penis. They worry that it’s too big, too small, too angular, the wrong colour, too veiny, not veiny enough. The list goes on and on.
Well, allow me to share a secret with you about women: we don’t care what your penis looks like.
In fact, Swiss researchers found that women aren’t nit-picking over length, shape or colour. The only thing we notice is the “overall appearance”.
We’d rather it not be covered in open sores, sure. But the things you’re worried or self-conscious about couldn’t bother us less.
That’s because there is no such thing as a perfect penis. Just ask Dr Brian Steixner, the director of the Institute for Men’s Health at Jersey Urology Group.
“I see dozens of penises daily and they all have their own oddities,” he says. “They all have some weird colour, bumps or skin abnormalities that men obsess over. These variations are all normal.”
In fact, the so-called “flaw” that you think makes your penis so undesirable may actually be an advantage. Here are the hidden benefits to your “imperfect” penis.
Penis Predicament: Too Small
The Advantage: there are two positives to having a small penis. One, it may make anal easier on her. And two, it can make her more enthusiastic about oral sex.
“I love anal, but I’ll only have anal with small guys because I’m not a freaking masochist,” says Michele, 37.
And small penises are easier to fellate. “Giving a normal-size penis a blow job is hard on your neck, jaw and lips,” adds Michele. “But I can go down on my small guy for as long as it takes.”
Penis Predicament: Too Thick
The Advantage: your massive man-meat may intimidate her at first. But if you spend enough time in foreplay, not only can you fit, but you may actually feel better to her.
Steixner explains: “Girth is perhaps the most important part of the penis when it comes to pleasure in women. More girth leads to more vaginal satisfaction, as the extra girth increases pressure on the vagina walls.”
Amy, 34, couldn’t agree more. “The first time I saw my boyfriend’s penis – it was like water-bottle thick – I said, ‘No way is that going inside me’,” she says. “Then once we eased it in, it was the best feeling ever.”
Penis Predicament: Slightly Curved
The Advantage: having a slight curve to your penis can actually be fun, because it’ll take some exploring to find the perfect angle. And that means attempting positions you might not have tried otherwise.
“When the penis is curved either to the left or to the right, it can contribute and enhance some internal stimulation, such as stimulating the G-spot,” explains Moushumi Ghose, the author of Classic Sex Positions Reinvented.
“Some positions to try include the side saddle, where he’s lying on his back and she sits on him, facing the side in which the penile angle occurs,” says Ghose. “She has a lot of control and can guide her body up and down in the same motion as the angle of his penis.”
Another excellent position for a curved penis is the sideways scissors. “He sits on his knees and she has one leg below him and one leg above him,” says Ghose. “This position gives him a lot of control so that he can direct his penis in the direction that feels good for both of them.”
(However, if the curvature is painful when you get hard, it could be Peyronie’s disease, which is caused by a plaque build-up in the erectile tissue. Schedule an appointment with your doctor to find out for sure. He or she may be able to prescribe treatment methods.)
Penis Predicament: Uncircumcised
The Advantage: your uncircumcised dick will make her wetter.
“With circumcised men, I would need a lot of lubricant, but with Brad – who was uncut – I didn’t need any,” says Joanna, 42. “I’ve only been able to have a vaginal orgasm with an uncut penis.”
Dr Chris Donaghue, a sex therapist, sexologist and author of Sex Outside the Lines, says this is true because “foreskin helps the penis glide in and out of the vagina in smooth movements, keeping it moist. Unlike with a circumcised penis, which can create a pull or drag on the vagina that can cause pain.”
There are two other upsides for the woman. “When Brad’s foreskin bunched up inside me, it rubbed against me and my G-spot in a way that made me very tingly,” remembers Joanna. “And I think his foreskin made him last longer too, because the head of his penis wasn’t so sensitive.”
It also makes hand jobs easier on her. “Most uncut guys do not require lube for a hand jobs because the skin acts like a lubricant,” says Donaghue. “Therefore she doesn’t need to grab any lube and it can be more spontaneous.”