When you first meet someone and the sexual chemistry is instant, you can be forgiven for getting at it like rabbits. But once the relationship develops and the honeymoon period is over, most couples are destined for a dry spell. It’s common to blame your partner’s fluctuating libido but one sexpert has a totally different explanation and chances are, it’s time to brush up on your skills.
Sex blogger Nadia Bokody, says that while your partner’s sex drive has stalled, it has more to do with your performance than her sexual appetite. Yup, Bokody reckons your technique is to blame.
Taking to her YouTube channel, the 34-year-old explains that this can often cause a “sex starved” relationship – having sex eight or less times a year.
“Male desire and female desire work in totally different ways,” she says.
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“Guys expect their female partners to get turned on in the same way and in the same frequency that they do. When the woman doesn’t do that they can both very wrongly assume that the woman just doesn’t have a sex drive.”
The fix? Bokody suggests your partner wants you to spice things up in the bedroom.
“The idea that women lose their libido is flawed. It’s not the loss of libido but more a loss in interest with having sex with one particular partner,” she continues.
“Women get sexually bored a lot faster than men. If sex becomes repetitive, over time that woman will lose interest in having sex with that partner. Women crave very high amounts of sexual novelty.”
Fortunately, for the fellas, Bokody also explains not just how you can get your partner craving sex, but a few handy moves to get her climaxing again.
Foreplay is crucial, a process that should take up a whole day.
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“Women need a lot more time to build up arousal then men do,” she adds.
“What you can do as a partner is to start the foreplay, not one or two hours before sex but 24 hours. When she goes to work for the day you want to be sending her some dirty text messages. Recount a sexual encounter and give her little bits of that memory throughout the day. Women love it when you get super descriptive.”
And when it’s time to get down and dirty, Bokody recommends stimulating both the g-spot and clitoris to help achieve climax.
You can see Bodoky’s full explainer in the video below.
