Sure, your favourite sex position is probably the one that gives you the best orgasm – but on a subconscious level, your go-to move also says something about your personality in the sack.
The Move: missionary is like Sex 101: it’s the way we’re “taught” to have sex, and the way that we see it most often in rom-coms and TV shows.
But although this position is a classic, a missionary man might be a little insecure or “need reassurance by seeing his lover be responsive”, says sex therapist Dr Ava Cadell, author of Neurolovology.
You may also be keen on having control during sex, as missionary gives you all the driving power.
Since the position finds both people face-to-face, there’s some intimacy to it – but its basicness suggests the guy might not be confident about the other moves in his arsenal. “It’s romantic, but not very adventurous,” Cadell says.
Switch Things Up: there’s nothing wrong with loving the classics, but make sure you take a walk on the wild side every now and then.
“If you can only climax during missionary, that’s a problem,” Cadell says, and you’ll need to do some “reprogramming” to your sex life.
Try switching to woman on top, which has all of the same intimate qualities, but will let you relinquish some of that control – and spice things up.
The Move: a favourite with a lot of men.
A doggy-lover “taps into his territorial animalistic instinct as king of the jungle”, says Cadell, “but he also has fears of intimacy and is generally unromantic.”
After all, you probably don’t go for rear entry because you want to whisper sweet nothings in her ear from behind.
Switch Things Up: you can get the deepest penetration from this position, but what you earn in depth you lose in intimacy. To make up for it, spring for spoons every now and then.
WOMAN ON TOP
The Move: the beauty of this position is that there are a million ways to do it – and it’s all up to her.
Men who love their women in the saddle are likely concerned with pleasing their partners, and Cadell says this move shows that “he’s confident in being submissive, but he can also be dominant when he enables her to reach her orgasm with deeper penetration”. Basically, you get off helping her get off.
Switch Things Up: we get that you like the view from down there – who wouldn’t? – but mix things up and take control every now and again by flipping her over.
The Move: given that spooning is most often associated with cuddling and sleep, it’s no surprise that this super-intimate position is often the go-to for guys who have a soft spot.
But men who love the move aren’t wimps – instead, they’re “passionate and eager to please their lover”, Cadell says.
Switch Things Up: everyone likes to experience the sweeter side of sex, and props for being a romantic. But you can still be intimate while igniting a little more fire into your sex life.
While in the spooning position, reach around to stimulate her clitoris, or try a position like missionary where you can gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes – while penetrating her even deeper.
The Move: pressed against the front door, hoisted onto the kitchen counter, or in the shower, you can have standing sex anywhere but the bed.
That’s why guys who like this position best are adventurous, and often turned on by the idea of being naughty.
The standing man is a “mischievous lover who gets a thrill out of getting caught, and wants to have as much fun as possible with little regard of the consequences”, says Cadell.
Switch Things Up: novelty is part of what keeps your sex life hot, so don’t let yours simmer down by going to the same standing position time after time.
Vary up the locations you choose, or switch to doggy from time to time – you can ask your partner to stand and bend over a table – to keep things interesting.