Say something that will draw out details about her. "Your friends seem nice—how did you get to know them?" is a compliment and a window into her past. Forming a bond will release dopamine, a mood booster in her brain. Show off your interest with verbal nods of agreement ("uh-huh," "go on"), adds Dr Alex Pentland, an MIT professor who designed software that assesses whether speed daters are feeling sparks.
We all know to ask lots of questions and to avoid flat-out boasting. But don't sell yourself short. "Women listen very carefully for signs of status and wealth," says Fisher. Keep any references to financial or personal success oblique, though - let her curiosity draw out the details. Another crucial conversation tip: Talk at the same pace she does and she'll consider you intelligent, kind, confident, and ambitious, according to a University of Maryland study.
Your Body Language
Attraction causes couples to mirror each other's body language. But don't be overeager to connect. Stay relaxed and let her set the tone, says Lisa Clampett, founder of the Matchmaking Institute. Fidgeting conveys nervousness and triggers the empathetic release of stress chemicals in her brain. "Once she brushes your shoulder or thigh, reciprocate within a minute or two," Fisher says. Or touch her inner forearm, a nerve-rich zone that will create sparks.
Your Deal Closer
If you've made the right sort of first impression, she might be wondering how you are in bed. "Consciously or not," says Fisher, "she's looking for signs that you're patient and sensitive to the ways her body finds pleasure." So talk her through the jukebox options. Handle the darts delicately. Call out the scent notes of a bottle of wine. Show refined tastes in these areas and she'll suspect you have others worth exploring - back at her place.
This article was originally published on MensHealth.com