Causing her to orgasm once is cause for celebration. But any woman who can climax once can probably cross the finish line again – and again.
It’s a biological gift: as a man, you have to wait for your refractory period to pass before you’re ready for round two, but women don’t seem to experience the same reloading phase, says sex adviser Dr Debby Herbenick. She could experience her second wave of pleasure in as little as one minute.
But just because she can come twice doesn’t mean she will. Studies suggest that only 14-40 per cent of women have had multiple orgasms in one session.
How do you help her become one of the lucky ones? First, make sure that’s what she wants. Some women would rather cuddle after climaxing than be pressured into an encore.
Next, remember that women differ dramatically on how they can achieve one orgasm, let alone two or three. So although there’s no one roadmap, try these tips to boost your chances of doubling (or even tripling) her pleasure.
Step 1: Create massive sexual tension.
Building up desire is a precursor to any sexual activity. But creating copious amounts of sexual tension can be just what she needs to achieve a bonus orgasm.
It’s like when you’re famished: you eagerly scoff down your meal and then go back for seconds and thirds. “You want her to retain her feelings of overall arousal when her body starts to relax after having the first orgasm,” says Amie Harwick, author of The New Sex Bible for Women.
So tease her early and often: text her a sexy message in the morning, play footsie under the table at dinner and indulge in some PDA. By the time you get to bed, she should be extra, er, hungry for sex.
That way, when she has her first orgasm, she may still be up for seconds.
Step 2: Keep her idling.
After she climaxes, give her clitoris a short break – it becomes super-sensitive for many women immediately after sex, says Dr Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. But don’t stop the action completely: spend a few minutes making out and attending to her breasts, bum and any other favourite non-genital hotspots. Whisper in her ear about how beautiful she looks.
Your goal: keep her in a semi-aroused state so she doesn't have to start from scratch to hit her second peak.
Step 3: Rev it back up.
After a woman has an orgasm, the blood that rushes to her genitals during sex lingers, making it easier for her to climax again, Kerner says.
Prime her for round two with dirty talk, he suggests. Try something like, “That was so hot, I need you again!”
Then return your attention to her genitals. “Start with a light touch,” Kerner says. “Try lightly circling your finger or tongue over her clitoris slowly, and then work up to more extreme stimulation with an increasingly faster pace, more pressure and intensity until she's ready to go again.”
Step 4: Try a new route.
There’s nothing wrong with sticking with what works, but you can also try bringing her to orgasm by attending to a different erogenous zone.
This can work particularly well if her clitoris is still sensitive from round one. Plus, novelty encourages the release of the feel-good chemical dopamine, which may help her orgasm faster, says Kerner.
Aim for her G-spot with positions like woman on top or doggy style. Feeling more adventurous? Some women can climax from nipple stimulation.
Lightly trace circles on her nipples with your fingers or tongue, building pressure as you go, or try sucking on them.
Want to crank it up another notch? Stimulate the area between her vagina and anus with your tongue, suggests Dr Ava Cadell, author of Idiot's Guides: The Kama Sutra. Some women find it mind-blowing – but check with her first that she's comfortable with this.