The only thing better than an orgasm is one that lasts for a full minute.
Yes, the 60-second climax really exists, according to Dr Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.
It’s not typical – the female orgasm usually lasts 6 to 30 seconds, Nagoski says. But if her mood and your moves are right, her climax can keep going. Prolong her pleasure with six easy strategies.
The key to any female orgasm is for her to be relaxed and focused solely on pleasure, says Nagoski. The more tuned in she is, the better her chances of having a long, intense climax.
So start by setting the mood. If she's keyed up after a stressful day, give her a back massage to ease her into a more laid-back state. Turn off your cell phones, lock your doors, hit the lights, and put on the slow jams: Music and candlelight will help calm her central nervous system, says licensed marriage and sex therapist Dr Kat Van Kirk.
If she feels self-conscious, it will sap her sex drive faster than you can say 'baby'. Insecurity distracts her and inhibits her pleasure, says Nagoski. But if she feels smoking hot, she’ll be more aroused and focused on the awesome sensations of sex. And that can help her experience deeper orgasms.
So show her how much she turns you on: Pull her toward you eagerly, tell her how amazing you think her backside is, and linger as you kiss and caress her body. Don’t underestimate the power of a well-timed “wow” as she strips.
Dirty talk can help keep her attention focused on the erotic sensations, Nagoski says. If you already know what kind of naughty language turns her on, have at it.
Otherwise, start by telling her how wet, warm, and incredible she feels against you. Try taking control and commanding her to turn over when changing positions - some women find that hot. If calling her a “bad girl” is her thing, go for it. If not, don’t force it.
Bringing her to the brink of orgasm repeatedly will cause her arousal to spread throughout her body – resulting in a bigger, longer climax when she finally peaks, says Nagoski.
If you know she loves oral sex, start to go down on her slowly and gently. Pay close attention to her response. As she gets closer to orgasm, she will begin panting faster and you may be able to feel growing tension in her abs, thighs, and butt.
When you notice those signs, dial your speed and pressure back. Her breathing should slow. Then coax her back up to the brink, and slow it down again. Oscillate back and forth five times if you can, bringing her closer to the peak each time. Then let her have her big finish.
Working multiple sex acts into one session can help prolong her orgasm because the variation creates more tension and arousal, says Van Kirk. Start with oral sex or use a vibrator to stimulate all her erogenous zones: her nipples, clitoris, vagina, G-spot, and even her anus if she’s into it. Then, when you're both ready for penetration, have her grind on top of you so she can control the pressure. Bonus: Use your thumb or fingers to rub her clitoris as she rides you.
When some women are on the brink of orgasm, their clitorises become very sensitive. If that’s the case, stimulating her more gently may help her maintain her climax for longer, says Van Kirk.
First, find out if she wants you to ease up. Lean into her ear and softly ask her if she likes it gentle or hard. If she prefers a lighter touch, just ease up on the pressure. Another option: Try moving your finger, tongue, or vibrator to the 1-o'clock spot, just outside and above her clitoris. She will either love the delicate, indirect touch or redirect you back to where she wants it. Follow her lead.
This article originally appeared on MensHealth.com