Follicular Phase/Pre-Ovulation
Summary:
- Lots of foreplay
- Her energy is building after her bleed
- She’ll want slow, sexy kisses
This is when she has finished bleeding and she’s starting to come out of her cave. Yay right? Yep. She will want lots of cuddles and this is a great time to take her out on dates.
Going out with your friends is good but be sure to keep her in the loop because she might be a little fragile and self-critical. She’ll probably want the assurance that you love her. Don’t fret too much though because she’ll be out and about with her girlfriends too.
Don’t try and have sex right away, you may get blue balls.
To get laid: LOTS of foreplay.
Flowers, cuddles, long, tender, sexy kisses. The ones that send shivers down her spine and make her melt. Oh and please kiss her neck. You will have to work for sex. She will be soft and tender and there is a good chance that she will want to cuddle after so don’t you dare fall asleep right away.
Ovulation
Summary:
- Her energy is at it’s highest
- She’ll be intoxicating to be around
- She’ll be feeling frisky and is at her most fertile
- You can f*ck up and not get your balls chopped off
You’ll likely be able to watch the footy, but be prepared to have her snuggled next to you with her phone scrolling through Insta and asking who the team with the poo coloured top is.
The good news is that during this time, you could wash your darks with whites, forget to feed the dog and you won’t get in too much trouble for it because she’s more easy going.
She’ll want to go out on dates, party on the weekend with girlfriends, throw dinner parties, wear sexy lingerie and stay up late pumping out work. Now is a great time to be home early so you can have sex for hours and watch her walk about butt naked... because she will feel like doing that. Her orgasms will be intense, and she’ll be turned on much more easily.
Wanting babies? Now’s the time to try. Not wanting babies? Use a barrier method.
To get laid: Housework.
- Cook dinner
- Fold the laundry
- Fix the broken tap
- Do the food shopping for her
- Cuddle a dog (man + dogs = come here right now).
Luteal Phase/Pre-Menstruation
Summary:
- Sex will need a lot of foreplay
- If you allow her to watch Gossip Girl, you’ll get brownie points
- She will want to nest, so don’t leave your stuff everywhere
- Say ‘yes’ to staying late at work
- She‘ll likely want cuddles... and also space
Sex will need a lot more foreplay because her erogenous zones will be a little less sensitive. She will want to nest, so make sure you have tidied up your sports kit from the hallway and that the dog is walked. This will save a tonne of arguments because, honestly you’re not likely to win many, if any. During this phase, my advice is to do everything you can to make sure that no arguments happen.
At about day 25 (every woman is different), stay late at work. Say yes to going out for drinks with the boys after work because you can’t do anything right in this phase. It’s not her fault, this part of the cycle is calling women to slow down and rest, but if she doesn’t, it can make her a little difficult to reason with. Also don’t you dare come home drunk. She’ll likely find a reason to be very mad with you.
Your job here is to find out what she needs, so talk to her and cuddle her. Don’t lead with "you’re so moody, you must be pre-menstrual" – that will not end well. Just saying.
Ask her if there’s anything she needs and mean it. Let her know that you’re there for her if she needs a foot rub or a hot cup of tea. Actually... just do it. She is going to be more self-critical during this phase, so be sure to boost up her confidence but telling her how damn beautiful she is!
Menstruation
Summary:
- This is her reflective time, give her space
- Sex during this time is very sacred and soft, tender love making is best
- She might be a little more emotional and tired
When the blood comes, it’s a big release. She will be well connected to her intuition and will release things that no longer serve her. Encourage her to journal and take the first day of her cycle to hang out in bed and drink tea. If she’s able to work from home on the first day of bleeding, encourage and support her to do so. If she can’t, have dinner ready for her and a bath for when she comes home.
She will be tired and she’ll need more protein in her diet and not want to do much. This is the time to Netflix and chill every night. Don’t push for a date night, because she probably won’t be keen.
She might feel a little more emotional as she releases and renews herself. Allow her to cry and feel her emotions. If you go out with your mates, you better bring home a present, gossip or a good story. Please don’t come home empty handed.
To get laid: Be patient.
Probably best to wait until day 3 when the flow is lighter and she’ll be soft, tender and want loving. However, if she’s willing to have sex, honour this sacred time for her. If she feels comfortable to have sex with you on her period, please respect her. She will only let the one that she loves the most be intimate with her during this phase of the cycle.
Her libido will be increasing from day 1 of her cycle (first day of bleeding) and her orgasms are easier to reach and they are deliciousssss. This is a time for deep love making.
