Summer-loving is upon us as we shake off the shackles of winter and get out there and mingle. But navigating the dating scene can be difficult at the best of times, especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while. Research shows that Men and women are wired differently when it comes to emotions and actions, so it’s only natural we behave and perceive differently when it comes to finding our way.
Perth-based Matchmaker and founder of Corporate Cupid, Renee Brown, says during her matching process she often sees men make common dating mistakes that often give a wrong first impression which can hurt their chances of first or future date. Below, Brown outlines some of these most common mistakes and her advice on what you need to do instead:
1. Not taking the lead
Masculine energy is a huge part of relationships, and it needs to be recognised from the get go. Being indecisive about choosing a venue or setting up a first date is a common mistake men make, thinking they are being a gentleman by leaving the choice up to the lady. Take the lead from the beginning and have a venue, date and time picked, ready to go. And if they don’t work make sure you have alternative options ready for her to choose from.
2. Making a big deal about who pays
Guys will often insist on paying, but some women aren’t into that. There is no right or wrong and the point is that it shouldn’t be a big deal. If she insists on paying, go along with it. If she expects you to pay (and the date was your idea), go along with it. If you offer to pay and she refuses to let you…go along with it. It’s really not very complicated. I personally believe in old fashion values and men being gentleman and always paying for the first date.
3. Talking too much about yourself
In my experience, men need to walk a fine line here to find that balance. I’ve received a lot of date feedback from women saying, “he didn’t even ask me anything about myself.” It’s important to show confidence, but also make it clear that you’re interested and invested in the date. The way you approach conversation is particularly important. Ask her questions, and really listen. Don’t try to dominate the conversation. Let it happen naturally, and if she’s a good match for you, you’ll enjoy the experience.
4. Getting obsessive with looks
Men are primal creatures and value good looks but unfortunately, this becomes an unhealthy habit when trying to recognise the other qualities in a date that will provide a successful relationship. First impressions are important to justify an interaction but look for the deeper selling points of a profile. If you’re considering a date with someone who isn’t the usual look you go for, take a risk and meet that person face-to-face anyway – you may be pleasantly surprised.
5. Bringing up previous relationships
It’s natural to delve into the relationship past of your date to find out how they got to where they are now, but don’t make these questions the focus. Women hate the idea of another woman in a man’s life, especially if they like them. Stay positive and in the moment. Identify things about the now, and what you are both working towards in the future. This will give huge insight into compatibility.
