It wasn’t long ago that the G-spot was considered ground zero for the O. Now it’s a controversial one: last year some researchers emphatically claimed that it doesn’t exist and that all women’s orgasms are alike.
Other experts – and lots of women – beg to differ, and they even go a bit further, claiming that several other hot spots can help bring a woman to the brink and push her over the edge. Either way, it’s fun to test the theories.
Maybe you’ve found, or attempted to find, your partner’s G-spot. In addition to that bedroom bull’s-eye, researchers in Turkey have identified four regions that they call “deep vaginal erogenous zones".
In some women, all four zones can independently trigger an O, the researchers found.
But even if your partner doesn’t end up curling her toes, “it can be a bonding experience of adventure and exploration”, says Dr Yvonne K. Fulbright, the author of Touch Me There! “The more areas you find that are sensitive, the more options you have for warming up her body.”
Ready to start your search? Grab some lube and prepare to discover pleasure points that you and your partner never knew existed.
• 11% of Women Have Discovered It
Follow the front wall of her vagina until just before you reach her cervix. There you’ll find her A-spot, says Fulbright. Swipe your finger across it like a windshield wiper, says Jaiya, the author of Red Hot Touch. If you feel “divots” on either side, you’re too close to the entrance – that’s her G-spot. Scoot in a few centimetres.
The vagina responds only to pressure or movement, not touch, says sexual health expert Dr Jennifer Berman. So try what Jaiya calls the “anchor and pull”. After tubing up and lots of foreplay, plant the padded part of your finger on her A-spot.
If you can’t reach it, use the end of a long, curved toy, like the njoy Pure Wand (njoytoys.com). Pull your finger across the front wall, towards you. “You know your efforts are paying off when she gets wetter,” says Fulbright.
• 8% of Women Are Sensitive Here
Located her G-spot? Congrats! Rotate your finger towards the opposite wall and go a little deeper until you feel a spongy area on the back wall of her vagina. That’s her O-spot.
Have you both been considering backdoor action but are hesitant? “The anal walls are rich in nerve endings, so stimulating the O-spot gives a woman a better sense of what might feel good on the other side of the wall,” says Fulbright.
Once she’s fully aroused, try the anchor-and-pull technique on her O-spot and her G-spot at the same time. “Put the backs of your hands together, with one palm facing up and the other facing down,” says Jaiya. Then insert both index fingers inside her, simultaneously stimulating the front and back walls of her vagina. “Some women can ejaculate from that,” she says.
Another option: stimulate her O-spot with the classic come-hither motion.
• 7.5% of Women Have Had a Cervical Orgasm
With deep penetration, you can touch her cervix with your penis. “It feels sort of like the tip of your nose – firmer than the spongy texture of the vagina,” says Dr Lisa Masterson, of Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre in LA. For most women, the cervix sits 7-10cm in, but that’s before arousal. “With engorgement, the cervix lifts up,” Berman says, but you should still be able to reach it.
Keep track of her period: it’s around ovulation (usually day 13-16 of her cycle) that cervical stimulation tends to be most pleasurable, says Jaiya.
Circle her cervix with a finger or two; once you make direct contact, slowly glide over the area, applying firm, gentle pressure, until she feels a deep, almost total-body pleasure. If your finger isn’t long enough, Fulbright suggests using a vibrator with a broad head; you want pressure, not poking.
The Pelvic Muscles
• 12% of Women Use Them to Climax
You can’t touch her pelvic floor muscles directly, but you can activate them. “They encircle the vagina,” Fulbright says, “and contract when she climaxes.”
A 2014 Brazilian study at the Federal University of Pampa found that young women with strong pelvic floor muscles tend to be more orgasmic. Why? If these muscles are toned, they can tighten up during sex and not tire out, helping her finish, Masterson says.
Your partner probably knows the most effective way – Kegel exercises, says Fulbright. Have fun with them: buy a set of Ben Wa balls, such as Jimmyjane’s Prysm Sphen (jimmyjane.com), which are like weights for her vagina.
Lube one up, slip it inside her and see if she can hold it in; add the second when she’s ready. It’s fun and arousing, and beyond strengthening her pelvic muscles, “the balls can roll over the G-spot and stimulate it”, says Fulbright.