“If something works, you want to keep doing it,” says Dr Marianne Brandon, author of Monogamy: The Untold Story. “But at the same time, even the best moves can get old and worn out.”
And although women often worry about taking too long to climax, they also don’t want to hit their peak in 60 seconds flat - which is what can happen if you go straight to your failsafe move every time.
By contrast, if you switch things up, you may find that her experience is more satisfying, since delaying her orgasm can make it stronger, says Brandon.
Plus, “novel experiences elevate dopamine in the brain, and that promotes bonding,” adds Dr Yvonne Fulbright, author of Touch Me Here.
So save your signature skills for the grand finale and experiment with these 16 ways to touch her vagina
1. OPEN HER HOOD.
There’s a little flap of skin that covers her clitoris when she’s not fully aroused - and it’s begging to be played with.
“The clitoral hood is actually an extension of the inner lips,” says Fulbright. “It can be its own feel-good spot.”
Early on in your encounter - before she’s gotten so turned on that her hood retracts - give the hot spot on her vagina a little love: Trace her inner labia upwards until you find the fold just above her clitoris, and stroke it with your fingertips, making sure your digits are sufficiently slick with lube.
When she’s ready for direct clitoral contact, “you can use your thumb to push that skin up a little bit toward her belly button,” says Brandon.
2. FIND HER G-SPOT.
When it comes to G-spot stimulation, most guys know one classic technique: Insert a finger inside her vagina, palm up, and use a come-hither movement to stimulate her. But what if that doesn’t work?
Don’t give up your search for her hidden pleasure zone just yet.
“The G-spot is not necessarily right in the middle of that front wall [of the vagina],” Fulbright says. “It might be a little more to one side or a little lower.”
Her advice: using at least two fingers, massage as much of the region as you can comfortably reach—and make sure she’s already wet before you work your way in.
“If she’s excited, the area is a little raised and rough,” says Fulbright. "If she’s not aroused enough, it’s going to be almost impossible to find.”
3. CUP HER VAGINA.
Her outer labia may not be as sensitive as the rest of her lady parts - and that means it’s a prime place to start when you’re warming her up for an orgasm.
When you’re making out, slip a hand down south and simply cup her vagina, pressing lightly. “This starts the blood flow and begins the process of arousal,” says Brandon. “It’s a gentle way to bring her into the experience.”
4. PLAY ON HER MOUND.
First, an anatomy lesson: atop her pubic bone, there’s a mound of fatty tissue where her pubic hair grows called the mons pubis.
“When you play with the mons pubis, you can indirectly stimulate the clitoris,” says Fulbright.
To wake up the region, use the heel of your hand to press downward on the mound, in the direction of her clitoris.
5. GIVE HER A MASSAGE.
Before you part the outer lips of her vagina, give them a little attention.
“Touching the outer labia isn’t going to stimulate the clitoris in the same way the inner lips do, because they’re not connected,” says Fulbright.
That said, taking your time before touching her clit can do wonders for her arousal—so press her labia majora between your thumb and index finger, rubbing back and forth with a gentle massaging motion, then gently tug her lips upward.
If she doesn’t shave, you can even lightly pull at her pubic hair, Fulbright suggests.
6. CIRCLE HER HOT SPOT.
As tempting as it is to race to her clitoris, tease her a little before touching down.
First, apply a little lube - hint: simply dip a digit into her vagina - to the padded part of your finger, and circle her clitoris, applying a firm, consistent pressure.
“The circling motion is one of the most popular with women during masturbation,”says Fulbright.
7. CARESS HER CERVIX.
If your girlfriend prefers deep penetration, she probably enjoys the sensation of cervical contact - and your penis isn’t the only part of your body that can reach it.
“When she’s excited, the cervix does pull back some,” says Brandon.
“But the typical vagina is not that long.” So insert your finger until you can’t go any further, and gently massage her cervix, applying more pressure only if she responds with pleasure.
“It can be really, really sensitive, so try it gently,” Brandon warns.
8. RE-ANGLE HER BODY.
Stick with your standard way of stimulating her - the one that really gets her going—but switch up the position.
“It will feel different because a woman’s body is so supremely sensitive that these little shifts can be pretty dramatic to her,” says Brandon. “She’s also going to have a different emotional reaction to what you’re doing.”
In other words, if she’s normally lying on her back when you get her off with an orgasm, trying the same technique on all fours can feel more animalistic.
So get creative: have her lean against a wall, bend over the kitchen counter, or stand up straight - then execute the move she loves best.
9. STIMULATE HER VAGINAL OPENING.
Unless you’re a high-school boy, you’ve learned by now that fingering a woman - just gliding in and out - doesn’t do much for her.
But that doesn’t mean hands-off altogether: “Use two or three fingers to work your way in and out, but make sure you’re not just going up and down - firmly rub against the lower vaginal canal,” says Fulbright.
You can even linger in the opening of her vagina, moving your fingers in a circular motion, without ever taking them out completely.
“Most of the nerve endings are in the lower third of her vagina,” says Brandon. “Women like to feel really full at the opening.”
10. PLAY THE PIANO.
Place your index finger on one side of her clitoris, your middle finger on the other side, and pretend you’re playing the piano, going back and forth, from side to side, suggests Fulbright.
Rhythmic motions are typically the most pleasurable ones for women - and stimulating the sensitive skin next to her clitoris is an easy way to build arousal and anticipation for an orgasm, she says.
Eventually, you can move one finger so it’s on top of her clitoris itself for a more intense version of this move.
11. BE THE HORSE TO HER COWGIRL.
This trick gives whole new meaning to the cowgirl position: Have your partner sit on top of your inner arm, so her vulva is resting on your wrist and lower forearm.
“Place your hand between her legs and cup her butt,” says Fulbright. Then have her grind against your arm, and once she’s established a rhythm, move your arm to match the pace and intensity she prefers.
“You’re able to touch a lot more surface area - it allows the whole area to come alive, instead of just one particular spot,” she says.
Plus, the vaginal stimulation tends to be less direct - and therefore more tolerable for super-sensitive gals.
12. SWEEP THE REGION.
When you’re warming her up, graze your whole hand down the length of her vulva, using long, sweeping strokes.
Keep it fleeting - don’t worry about hitting all her nooks and crannies along the way.
“If you’re dipping inside, it's harder to make things rhythmic and smooth,” says Fulbright. “There’s one thing that women tell me gets them off: being rhythmic and consistent.”
13. GET BOTH HANDS IN ON THE ACTION.
Use the thumb and index finger of one hand to spread her labia, and use your other hand to stimulate her clitoris, suggests Fulbright.
Not only will opening her up give you better access to the pleasure zones of her vagina, it will make her feel a little vulnerable - which can be highly arousing.
14. KEEP HER PANTIES ON.
Yes, you’re eager to strip her down, but leaving her panties on can add a little pleasurable friction to your touch.
(It’s also great for a woman who is highly sensitive and prefers more indirect contact.)
The ideal scenario: she’s wearing satin panties, not cotton, which will easily glide across her genitals as you stimulate her, says Fulbright.
Once she’s fully aroused, continue the action by pushing her panties aside, instead of removing them, Brandon suggests. “That has the high-school feel to it - ‘I’m doing something wrong because my clothes are still on,’ ” she says.
Admit it: That’s hot.
15. LET HER LEAD THE WAY.
Watching her masturbate is the ultimate way to learn what she likes - but that level of vulnerability can be pretty intimidating for some women.
So put her hand on top of yours, and try this line: “Show me what you like, baby.” “Do this in a sexy way - not an ‘I’m confused, help me out,’ kind of way,” says Brandon.
Let her guide your hand - and be sure to make mental notes along the way to her orgasm.
16. HIT HER CLITORIS FROM ALL SIDES.
The classic side-to-side, up-and-down stimulation is undeniably awesome - and an almost surefire way to make her climax with an orgasm.
But that’s really only hitting a portion of her clitoris.
Brandon suggests lightly pinching it, then rubbing it in a circular motion between your fingers, as if you were wadding up a piece of gum. That way, you’re touching her hot spot from all angles, while also applying pressure.
It’s the recipe for an amazing orgasm.