11 Thoughts Every Woman Has While Giving A Blow Job

Forget the stereotype that giving a BJ is somehow subservient or anti-feminist. According to the team at Women's Health, choosing how to show your sexual affection however you want is as empowered as it gets.

Still, no matter how down she is with going down, in the throes of the (sometimes lengthy) act, she can't help but let her mind wander a little. Whether it's it's favourite item on the menu, or she only likes to serve it from time to time, here are 11 hilarious thoughts she's probably had while giving a blow job.

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1. "IS IT BAD IF I'M ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IT WILL BE FASTER THAN SEX AND I'M TIRED AF?"

We've all been there. But hey, there's nothing wrong with placing value on your partner's pleasure AND efficiency.

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2. "DAMN, PENISES ARE REALLY NOT CUTE."

They're not! Like objectively they are just not an attractive appendage. Not when they're staring you in the face at least...

3. "PREPARE TO BE BLESSED BY MY GODDESS MOUTH. TIME TO ROCK. HIS. WORLD."

The happy ending may be for you, but she's the writer of that story.

4. "DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR."

Let's be real, good technique requires concentration and a hair tug can totally throw her off rhythm. Not cool. More importantly, apparently we're just messing it up. Moral of the story? Paws off.

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5. "CAN WE TURN SOME BEYONCÉ ON OR SOMETHING? I DESERVE AN ANTHEM."

Nothing like a little Queen Bey to remind us that she's in charge in this situation. Plus, the spit soundtrack isn't exactly a turn on for her.

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6. "YEAH, I KNOW YOU LIKE IT WHEN I PLAY WITH YOUR BALLS."

What is proper testicle etiquette these days? Does she squeeze them? Caress them? Is tugging fair game? No shame in avoiding that political hot potato for our ladies.

7. "THAT'S RIGHT, MAKE LIKE IT'S 1999 AND SAY MY NAME!"

You know that point where she's in your rhythm and you're vibe-ing and it's just so damn good? Revel in her glory and give her a shout out.

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8. "MY JAW IS STARTING TO CRAMP. ARE WE ALMOST DONE OR...?"

No matter how much she enjoys giving a good old-fashioned BJ, it's only polite to be respectful of her time and effort, right? Let's wrap this up pal.

9. "THIS. IS. HAPPENING."

No matter how many times she's done this before, why is there always this hint of apprehension? Like suddenly she'll forget how to use her mouth or dip out too early and...well, no one wants that mess.

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10. "BOW DOWN AT THE ALTAR OF MY SEXUAL PROWESS."

Mission: Accomplished.

11. "MY TURN!"

To be fair, she's probably earned it.

A version of this article originally appeared on Women's Health.