MensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex
  • Nutrition
  • Style
  • Weight Loss
  • Life
  • Podcasts
  • Subscribe
  • Motoring
  • Video
MensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex
  • Nutrition
  • Style
  • Weight Loss
  • Life
  • Podcasts
  • Subscribe
  • Motoring
  • Video
Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic
Watch 0:10

Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic

{headline}

{headline}

Jason Derulo Says His 'Cats' Bulge Was So Big It Got Edited Out

Jason Derulo Says His 'Cats' Bulge Was So Big It Got Edited Out

The Science Behind Why Your Penis Is A Different Colour To The Rest Of Your Body

The Science Behind Why Your Penis Is A Different Colour To The Rest Of Your Body

Eddie Hall Nearly Bled To Death After Dropping Weights On His Penis

Eddie Hall Nearly Bled To Death After Dropping Weights On His Penis

Men Touch Their Balls On Average 7 Times A Day

Men Touch Their Balls On Average 7 Times A Day

{headline}

{headline}

The Lowdown On Getting Erectile Dysfunction

The Lowdown On Getting Erectile Dysfunction

The 8 Best Foods You Can Eat For Your Erection

The 8 Best Foods You Can Eat For Your Erection

5 Signs There's Something Up With Your Penis

5 Signs There's Something Up With Your Penis

{headline}

{headline}

Turns Out This Social Habit Could Be Making Your Penis Shrink

Turns Out This Social Habit Could Be Making Your Penis Shrink

7 Reasons Your Crotch Is So Damn Itchy

7 Reasons Your Crotch Is So Damn Itchy

This Common Kitchen Item Is Making Your Penis Shrink

This Common Kitchen Item Is Making Your Penis Shrink

Please Don't Ever Do What Bieber Did To This Burrito

Please Don't Ever Do What Bieber Did To This Burrito

Here's Why Some Men Are Taking Viagra Before A Workout

Here's Why Some Men Are Taking Viagra Before A Workout

Sonny Bill Williams Shares Creative Dad Workout Ahead Of Boxing Return

Sonny Bill Williams Shares Creative Dad Workout Ahead Of Boxing Return

Ryan Reynolds Trolls Mark Wahlberg Sharing His Own Daily Routine

Ryan Reynolds Trolls Mark Wahlberg Sharing His Own Daily Routine

  1. Home
  2. Life

These 7 Embarrassing Erection Stories Will Horrify Anyone With a Penis

Thanks to reddit, that embarrassing day in gym class suddenly doesn't seem so bad - by Jack Crosbie
  • 25 Jan 2018
These 7 Embarrassing Erection Stories Will Horrify Anyone With a Penis
Bad Neighbours

We've all been there: You're in a normal situation, minding your own business, when suddenly you notice a disturbance downstairs. Maybe you wore loose pants that day, or worse, tight ones. Either way, something's going on, and you've got a raging erection in a place where it does not belong.

We've all been there: You're in a normal situation, minding your own business, when suddenly you notice a disturbance downstairs. Maybe you wore loose pants that day, or worse, tight ones. Either way, something's going on, and you've got a raging erection in a place where it does not belong.

RELATED: 5 Tips For Staying Erect Enough For Sex

Most guys probably have a story about the most awkward time they've gotten inappropriately hard, and thanks to a recent reddit thread, we have a collection of some of the worst possible places to spring a stiffy. The thread asked, "Men, where's the worst place that you've had an erection?" and oh boy, did we get answers. 

Death At A Funeral
Death At A Funeral

AT A FUNERAL

Junkrecked had a sad experience with an uncontrollable woody: "In church during my uncle's funeral," he wrote. Yep, someone already made the "mourning wood" joke.

ON THE OPERATING TABLE BEFORE SURGERY

From Really_Quite_Boring: "On the operating table on my way down to surgery. THERE'S NOWHERE TO HIDE THE FEARBONER."

INTERFERING WITH SACRAMENTS

Studer391 had an uncomfortable experience with the Lord: "In line for confession. Oh Catholic school, what a wonderful time."

Billy Madison
Billy Madison

THE BUS AND THE BONER ARE RIGHT ON TIME

Eli_The_D shared a story from college: "Every day after class, I waited at the same bus stop and took the same bus home. The bus stop was across the street from the aerospace building and in front of the nuclear engineering building. For some reason I always had a throbbing erection in that spot despite being in the area with the smallest female to male ratio."

MORNING WOOD WITH STITCHES

Hastur_83 wins the award for most painful priapic phallus: "In my bed. Why? It's less of a "where" story, more like a "when." I was circumcised as an adult, luckily it wasn't cancer (yay, penis cancer) but the skin had to go. A month with stitches down there wasn't fun, but it wasn't the worst thing. The worst thing, by a long shot, was something I gave exactly zero thought before — "morning wood." Because there are few worse things than waking up to the feeling of stitches being torn out, out of your penis, because it's morning and it just has to get hard. All is well now."

TRAPPED IN A POOL AT THE GYM

MeOulSegosha was trapped in an uncomfortable place: "In a plunge pool at a gym I used to go to. I was naked, water was freezing, but for some reason it woke up the old John Thomas. Too cold to stay in the pool, too embarrassed to get out. Not ideal."

FLYING HIGH AND HARD

RawdogginYourMom shared a predictably obscene story about why you shouldn't mess with Viagra on a plane: "On a plane. I was going to see my ex and some old guys gave me some blue pills to have some extra fun. I panicked at security and popped 4 of them. The fucked up part was that I was seated between two women, and got all the bad side effects. I spent 4 hours on a plane with a raging hard-on, a headache, and a stuffy nose. I drank 4 beers trying to calm myself down. I had to take a piss halfway through the flight and didn’t dare to stand up because I didn’t want to risk taking anyone’s eye out."

This article originally appeared on Men's Health

  • Sex
  • Life

Subscribe Now-

Subscribe Now
Subscribe Now

Subscribe Now-

Subscribe Now
Subscribe Now

Recommended to you

Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic
Watch 0:10

Bjornsson Deadlifted 1,026 pounds On The Elephant Bar To Win 2020 Arnold Classic

{headline}

{headline}

Jason Derulo Says His 'Cats' Bulge Was So Big It Got Edited Out

Jason Derulo Says His 'Cats' Bulge Was So Big It Got Edited Out

The Science Behind Why Your Penis Is A Different Colour To The Rest Of Your Body

The Science Behind Why Your Penis Is A Different Colour To The Rest Of Your Body

Eddie Hall Nearly Bled To Death After Dropping Weights On His Penis

Eddie Hall Nearly Bled To Death After Dropping Weights On His Penis

Men Touch Their Balls On Average 7 Times A Day

Men Touch Their Balls On Average 7 Times A Day

{headline}

{headline}

The Lowdown On Getting Erectile Dysfunction

The Lowdown On Getting Erectile Dysfunction

The 8 Best Foods You Can Eat For Your Erection

The 8 Best Foods You Can Eat For Your Erection

5 Signs There's Something Up With Your Penis

5 Signs There's Something Up With Your Penis

{headline}

{headline}

Turns Out This Social Habit Could Be Making Your Penis Shrink

Turns Out This Social Habit Could Be Making Your Penis Shrink

7 Reasons Your Crotch Is So Damn Itchy

7 Reasons Your Crotch Is So Damn Itchy

This Common Kitchen Item Is Making Your Penis Shrink

This Common Kitchen Item Is Making Your Penis Shrink

Please Don't Ever Do What Bieber Did To This Burrito

Please Don't Ever Do What Bieber Did To This Burrito

Here's Why Some Men Are Taking Viagra Before A Workout

Here's Why Some Men Are Taking Viagra Before A Workout

Sonny Bill Williams Shares Creative Dad Workout Ahead Of Boxing Return

Sonny Bill Williams Shares Creative Dad Workout Ahead Of Boxing Return

Ryan Reynolds Trolls Mark Wahlberg Sharing His Own Daily Routine

Ryan Reynolds Trolls Mark Wahlberg Sharing His Own Daily Routine

MensHealth
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Chris Hemsworth Hugo Boss
  • Terms
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Statement
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Chris Hemsworth Hugo Boss
  • Terms
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Statement

Brands

  • Women's Health

Our Network

  • Paragon Media Pty Ltd
© 2021 Are Media PTY LTD
Get more from Men's Health

Magazine Subscription Offer

Subscribe Now-

Shop This Offer
Subscribe Now