The Valentine’s Day routine has been ingrained into our minds from a young age. Look at the movies: you greet her with flowers, take her out for a romantic three-course meal, buy her ice cream and then drive her home and have mind-blowing, spine-tingling sex.
The movie industry has made it out that a romantic meal is the perfect beginning to a long night of hot sex. But, as every man must learn at some stage in his life, a large quantity of food and alcohol is one of the biggest cock blocks threatening males today.
Think about it. What woman would feel comfortable banging after a polishing off a bread basket, a sirloin steak, a bottle of wine and dessert? Sorry gents, I can’t think of one. But don’t think you get off scot-free: too much alcohol could see a surprise return of the dreaded ‘whisky dick’.
But Dan Savage, sex columnist on owner of TheStranger.com, has come up with some genius advice for all guys out there: bang before dinner.
“If you want to make sure you get f***ed on Valentine’s Day, f*** first, then go out to dinner,” Savage says.
“Not only will the sex be out of the way, but it’s easier to get a reservation at 9 or 10 o’clock, and then when you go home you won’t be going home to performance anxiety or disappointment if nothing happens.”
Is getting sex out of the way something we should be doing, especially on the most romantic day of the year? These sad stats prove it mightn’t be as silly as it sounds.
A recent survey found that almost 30 per cent of 18-34 year olds aren’t getting laid on Valentine’s Day. And if that’s not bad enough, 41 per cent of women in a relationship dread Valentine’s Day more than any other holiday. 34 per cent actually said they’d rather spend the day watching TV than having sex.
If logistics don’t allow you to bang first, don’t stress: just eat less. But we can assure you if you heed Savage’s advice, the meal will taste so great you’ll never go back to after-dinner sex ever again.