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Some of these instances revolved around sex acts that ranged from the uncomfortable to the downright painful. These included blowjobs with teeth (top tip: even the tiniest amount of tooth is probably too much), as well as more extreme examples. One guy went to bed with a girl who had been misinformed: "Someone apparently told her guys love having their balls 'smacked around a bit' and proceeded to slap with such gusto with just the tips of her fingers that I keeled over and couldn't move for a while."
"My girlfriend bent my dick in half, and man did it hurt," wrote another man. "She was curious as to what it felt like for me." Not only is this painful, but it's also dangerous, as forcing an erect penis too far in the wrong direction can result in a penile fracture.
"He tried anal with no lube or anything," recalled a woman on the thread. This is another huge no-no. Not only does it hurt like hell, but you can also cause friction damage or even an anal fissure. If nothing else, surprising your partner with an attempt at anal will probably leave you covered in faecal matter — give them some warning and time to prepare.
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Other occurrences hurt people's feelings, not their genitals. One guy recalled the time a woman asked him: "Can you make it bigger?" This can be a triggering question for many guys, as insecurity over penis size is fairly common. Another guy said that his female partner "got annoyed and rude when I couldn't instantly get it up," adding: "guys need foreplay too!"
Then there were moments which can only be described as utterly surreal, such as the commenter whose partner "had a playlist of sexy music that abruptly cut to the damn Andy Griffith whistling theme. What the hell?"
This article originally appeared on Men's Health
