If you get a little nervous seeing your partner talk to someone of the opposite sex, you’re not alone.
A recent survey of Ashley Madison members found out exactly what people thought counted as cheating and surprisingly that it includes as little as communicating with your ex-partner.
So if you’re in a committed relationship or you’ve tied the knot, what exactly constitutes adultery? The findings reveal some interesting takeaways.
Be careful if you have an office wife, 55 per cent of respondents agree that forming a deep emotional bond with someone else to be the biggest form of cheating.
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Surprisingly, most of the participants in the survey found this to be more of a crime than sending naked pictures to someone else. Just under half (46 per cent) considered nudes as doing the dirty.
Meanwhile, nearly as many (44 per cent) saw erotic texts to someone else as cheating.
The growing consensus among the experts is that miscommunication is the main reason for extra-marital affairs.
“Modern monogamy is becoming more and more vague so it really boils down to communication between couples and negotiating the terms of a marriage in an open way,” says Isabella Mise, director of communication at Ashley Madison.
“When couples aren’t on the same page, or one partner simply isn’t getting what they need, other options become desirable, even when that’s as simple as finding someone to talk to.”
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“People make a conscious choice to cheat, it’s not typically something that people fall into,” says Dr. Tammy Nelson, sex and relationship therapist and author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity.
“Despite defining what infidelity means to one another, one or both people in a relationship could still make the choice to seek an extra-marital affair when their needs aren’t being met. An alternative conversation to have is one that outlines what it is that each partner needs from the other to feel happy and satisfied in the relationship, and how to talk about it when they don’t feel that.”
Here’s a full list of the survey results:
Forming a deep emotional bond with someone else – 55%
Sending naked pictures to someone other than me – 46%
Texting erotic messages to someone other than me – 44%
Maintaining an online dating profile – 29%
Spending time with their ex-partner – 29%
Casual flirting with someone other than me – 18%
Thinking about someone other than me when having sex with me – 18%
Going out to dinner with someone who is the opposite sex – 18%
Communicating with their ex – 16%
Fantasizing about someone else – 13%
