We Decode The Sex Slang You're Too Embarrassed To Ask About | Men's Health Magazine Australia

We Decode The Latest Sex Slang You’re Too Embarrassed To Ask About

The web is a funny place, and it’s getting harder and harder to speak internet. Even during our diligent research as daily ‘sex reporters’, even we stumble across some phrases and terms that leave us baffled, and heading straight for the Google machine.

It turns out that the kids have a nickname and description for absolutely everything. In the interest of expanding your vocabulary, here’s a list of some of the more creative sex-related terms we’ve stumbled across in 2018.

Moped

Definition
According to our research, a ‘moped’ is normally used to describe us guys. Women are using the term much the same as they would describe an actual moped; fun to ride but you don’t really like to be seen out in public with one.

Use it in a sentence
“I didn’t want to bring my moped to breakfast, they’re still asleep at my place.”

Postboned

Definition
Being postboned translates as being late to an arrangement as a result of sex delaying your arrival.

Use it in a sentence
“So sorry I’m late, I was postboned thanks to our anniversary.”

Dopplebanger

Definition
A dopplebanger is reportedly not the person you intended on having sex with, however they look extremely similar to the object of your lust.

Use it in a sentence
“Angelina Jolie went home with Brad, so I had to find her dopplebanger.”

Sexercism

Definition
To have a sexercism is to have sex soon after a break up, in the hope of removing the memory of your former partner.

Use it in a sentence
“I just broke up with Sandy, so I held an sexercism the next day and now I feel great.”

Masturwait

Definition
Probably one of the most used (or at least experienced) terms we’ve come across is the masturwait, used to describe that time when you’re waiting for your computer to buffer while you’re watching porn.

Use it in a sentence
“Our wifi signal is so poor, I keep having to masturwait while my movie loads.”

Booty Grazing

Definition
Booty grazing is basically a mass booty call. Instead of sending out the call to one person, you’ll send a group text, usually under the influence or late at night. While we’ve just learnt of this behaviour, it does sound risky. Sure, you’re being extremely proactive, but you run the risk of multiple replies. A real problem unless you can turn it in your favour…

Use it in a sentence
“I’m so lonely and not sure who I want to go home to, I might do a bit of booty grazing before I call an Uber.”

ABC Sex

Definition
This is a term used by the kids to describe boring, regular, by-the-book sex. ABC is apparently an acronym for “anniversaries, birthdays, and Christmas”, the staples for regulated sex.

Use it in a sentence
“Jill and I have been together for 4 years now, so we only have ABC sex unfortunately.”

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