In a world where dating has become more complicated than ever, another major hurdle is figuring out whether she’s flirting or just being friendly.
So how can you detect whether there might be interest? Fortunately, Bumble’s resident Sociologist, Dr Jess Carbino, has a few tips that might help you decide if it’s right to make a move.
Firstly, there are clear-cut signals that the other person has taken a liking to you.
“An obvious sign someone is flirting with you, when you can only rely on verbal cues, is based upon whether you receive a compliment,” says Carbino.
“Whether you are a polite flirt and are governed by rules or a playful flirt who flirts for the sake of fun and enjoyment, compliments can be a central element of a successful flirtatious interaction.”
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It’s a no-brainer that sensual touching or sexual remarks are a dead giveaway for flirting, but when you’re dealing with someone who’s not so forward, it’s time to rely on physical movements.
“When in person, there are many clear physical cues that indicate interest,” explains Carbino.
“These may not only involve the individual’s interaction with you such as touching your arm, but also may involve how they touch their own bodies. For instance, women often touch themselves when flirting, such as touching their necks or playing/twirling their hair.
“Individuals also tilt their head from one side to another when flirting. I find that it is quite fascinating that many of us tend to be unconscious about our body language when flirting.”
Meanwhile, when it comes to texting or messaging on apps, all you can rely on are words.
“Flirting styles are not monolithic. In fact, scientists have identified five different styles: polite, sincere, traditional, physical, and playful. The different styles of flirting all involve both verbal and non-verbal cues. When dating online we can only rely on verbal (written) cues,” continues Carbino.
“However, we can examine how an individual is interacting with us in terms of the types of questions they ask and their responses to our questions. For example, sincere flirts try to create an emotional bond with potential partners. To do so, they often engage in a great deal of self-disclosure as a mechanism by which to create interest. On Bumble, women make the first move, which can give women the confidence to flirt in a safe environment where they are in control.”
On the other end of the scale, you might be cautious that she’s just being nice – it tends to happen with blokes who think they’re not good enough or dealing with someone who’s out of their league ( Yes, you can date a supermodel). It’s more obvious than you think.
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“The tell-tale sign that someone is just being nice is that the person does the minimum to seem well-mannered but is not being engaged in the process of getting to know you,” reveals Carbino.
“They will not signal any investment in you and will act in a completely platonic manner. For example, upon parting for the evening, the woman will not indicate any interest over and above saying thank you and good to meet you.
“With apps or texting, “they will simply answer the questions curtly and not engage you any further.”
