Thanks to the phenomenon that is the ‘dick pic’, Junk Mail folders have taken on a whole new meaning for the women in our lives. In fact, according to world famous married dating site AshleyMadison.com, 81 per cent of women have received a pic of male junk. What’s even more surprising, is that this statistic relates solely to unsolicited nude photos.
But just wait, if you’re one of the hundreds of thousands of men sending these pics to the ‘special’ women in your life, please think again before sending the next johnson jpeg. According to the same survey, 74 per cent of these pics are unwanted and are actually a turn off.
The research goes on to highlight the distaste of dick pics in the dating community, and the news isn’t promising for the exhibitionists out there. 29 per cent of women say it’s the world’s biggest turn off, followed by 25 per cent saying it’s not worth a response or their time.
Here are some practices to abide by, supplied by AshleyMadison.com in the hope of assisting their male members to score… a date. So take note, before you snap and send another phoner boner.
1. To woo is not to share your willy. Men today tend to skip the basics of charming a woman and instead go right for the crotch shot as a way to grab her attention. It’s too much too soon and a major red flag that signals you’re desperate and probably text flashing a dozen other women with the same photos.
2. If she wants it, she’ll ask. We know men think the female body is a beautiful thing and most would welcome a surprise nude from a girl any day of the week. But trust us, most women don’t feel the same way about your junk. So, unless she specifically requests a below the belt snap, zip it up and ask her how her day was instead.
3. “I’m ready for my close-up”. If a woman actually asks for a photo, don’t be lazy and undermine the opportunity. Take the time to trim the shrubs so you can see the branch and pick appropriate angles and lighting to do your favourite appendage justice. A little fluffing will go a long way, and maybe add an optical inch - for those in need.
4. Don’t assume it’s tit for tat. Just because you’ve sent her a dick pic doesn’t mean you’re entitled to a tit pic. Sending nude selfies is a personal choice and the more you pressure her, the less you pleasure her. Next time you’re doing the deed you’ll have plenty of mental imagery to keep your imagination flowing when you’re not together.