There are two types of people in this world. Those that like being entwined like a pretzel with their partner 24/7 and those of us who value our space.
Still, even the couples who are averse to public displays of affection must steal a cuddle before turning down for the night, right? Evidently not.
A recent survey from sleep company Casper found that nearly half of all adults prefer to catch Zs without any touching at all. In fact, this sleeping position trumped all others, including spooning and intertwined limbs. So, what does that say about their connection, exactly?
According to human attachment researchers, this is a great example of the ‘dependency paradox’ and is *actually* a sign of a really strong bond. Psychotherapist Arianna Smith explained to MindBodyGreen that couples mostly sleep this way when they feel close and safe with each other.
“This means that the more secure and safe partners feel in a relationship, the more room and freedom they have to be independent,” she explained. “Since they each have a secure ‘base’ to return to, they can explore their world with confidence: If a couple does not touch while sleeping, this can be an extension of that security.”
However, if there’s a lack of connection elsewhere in the relationship, it could be a sign that something’s not quite right.
“If a couple almost never engages in physical touch or intimacy in or out of bed, it could be a sign of a deeper issue,” marriage and family therapist Ashleigh Edelstein told the publication. “There’s quite a big difference between being disconnected all day and then climbing into bed separately versus connecting and kissing each other good night before bed. The former is cause for concern, while the latter isn’t.”
But bear in mind, touching isn’t the be all end all when it comes to cultivating intimacy.
“You can be next to someone without touching and still remain emotionally close,” Edelstein adds.
Permission to kick your partner off your side of the bed, granted.
