Ask the MH girls the questions you can’t ask anyone else. They’re three women who speak their mind, so don’t expect sugar-coated answers. Today we’re asked: “I’ve met someone on Tinder. It looks promising but it’s very early days. At what point should I delete all my dating apps?”
Becky: Ooh, jumping the gun a bit, it feels like.
Lizza: Hmmm, I would say not until you’re . . .
Nikolina: Married?
Becky: Had your first child. Then you can delete them. I’m joking.
Lizza: For me it’s until you have that conversation where you agree you’re exclusive, and then you can delete them together. But don’t jump in. Don’t disarm unilaterally.
Becky: Agreed. Because no one wants to redo their profile.
Lizza: It might be as simple as saying, “Hey, I’d like us to be exclusive – would you delete your apps?” Or you could be very casual: joke about having your profile still and then suss things out and see how they’re feeling.
Becky: The other person’s expectation will be that if they’ve deleted their apps, you should as well. And
vice versa.
Nikolina: If there’s been a conversation about exclusivity, you’d certainly hope so.
Becky: You could say something like, “Hey, this is going really well. I feel like maybe I’d love not to see anyone else. How would
you feel about getting rid of Tinder? Personally, I’m over it”.
Lizza: And if they baulk, then I guess that tells you where you stand and maybe the relationship isn’t as serious as you thought it was.
Becky: Yeah, keep swiping. Download Bumble, too. Why not?
Lizza: There’s one app that’s just for one-night stands. It’s like Grindr for straight people, but someone I know actually met someone on it.
Becky: Really?
Lizza: They weren’t serious, until suddenly they were. And then one day, they said to each other, “Oh, we still have the app”. And from there they decided they were going to be exclusive because they enjoyed sleeping with each other.
