When I was in college, my girlfriend was close friends with a dude who was in the Navy and stationed in Hawaii. By the way he communicated with her during our relationship, I could tell that he definitely had a crush on her.
I wanted to ask my girlfriend if she had any romantic feelings for this guy, but I was too scared. I was worried that I was making a big deal out of nothing and that bringing it up would only make her mad at me.
Apparently I’m not the only guy to avoid touchy relationship questions, according to Dr Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
Related: 12 Things Women Do Right Before Sex But Never Admit To
“Guys are often nervous to ask certain questions because they’re worried that they might not like what they hear, and that it could turn them off to their partner,” she says. Then there’s also the risk of offending your partner or making them angry by bringing certain topics up, says Greer.
Turns out, I should’ve asked. After we broke up, she ended up with the Navy dude.
Wondering what’s on your guy’s mind? Well, according to Greer, you could just ask. “Give your partner permission and reassurance to discuss any issue by way of saying, ‘If there’s anything you want to know, I’m OK with you asking. If it makes me uncomfortable, I’ll let you know,'” she says.
Or you could just guess, based on the questions these eight dudes have been dying to ask the women they’re dating.
1\ Do you still watch porn?
“I’d like to ask my girlfriend if she still watches porn, but I’m kind of scared because I actually don’t know if she was a porn watcher before we started dating. I’m not sure how she’d react to that kind of question. I assume she’d ask me if I still watch porn, and then I’d have to come clean.” —Tyler G.
2\ How many people have you slept with?
“I’m really curious about how many sexual partners my girlfriend has had, but I don’t want to ask her. I know it’s not supposed to matter, but I’m scared I won’t like the answer. I also don’t want to reveal my number, so I’ll probably just never ask.” —Geoff R.
3\ Am I doing something wrong?
“I want to be the best partner I can be, but I’m nervous to ask my girlfriend if there’s anything I can do better. I’m afraid I would take her critique the wrong way.” —Naveen R.
Related: 4 Crazy Signs She’s Cheating On You
4\ Did you date other people while dating me?
“When I started dating my now-girlfriend, I wasn’t dating anyone or talking to anyone else. But I’m not sure if she was. Even though it’s in the past, sometimes I think about asking her. I guess I’m just curious because I only wanted to date her from the very beginning. And I wonder if she felt the same way.” —M.J. F.
5\ Are you ready to get married?
“I’ve been with my girlfriend for a couple years now, and I’m starting to think about shopping for rings. I’m nervous, though, because I don’t know where she stands on us getting engaged, and I’m afraid to ask her. If she isn’t ready to get engaged, she might freak out.” —Miles B.
6\ Am I the best you’ve ever had?
“I want to know if the best sex she’s ever had was with me. If she told me that it wasn’t, that would crush me. But at the same time, I don’t want her to consider lying to save my ego.” —Shawn P.
Related: 8 Things Guys Think About During Doggy Style
7\ Would you like me if I was bald and fat?
“I want to ask my girlfriend if she would be less attracted to me if I went bald, or if I gained a bunch of weight. But I’m scared of what she’ll say, especially the bald thing. I feel like that’s actually going to happen soon.” —Phillip S.
8\ How does my penis stack up?
“My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and there haven’t been any complaints, but I always wonder how my penis measures up to other guys she’s been with.” —Brett H.
