In a study, researchers looked to examine who actually uses back burners and why. Participants reported being either single, in a casual relationship or in a committed relationship and after outlining their favourite type of electronic communication, were then asked to identify back burners by looking through their contact lists. They were then asked to think about their most important back burner and whether they employed positive maintenance strategies with that person. According to the research, half of those in committed relationships reported that they employed openness as a strategy when communicating with their back burner, compared to 80 per cent for singles and 73 per cent for those casually dating. Thankfully, those in committed relationships reported employing lower levels of positivity and assurances.
But while there may have been a difference in maintenance strategies, the number of back burners reported didn’t differ so much between those who were single, committed or casually dating. Some 73 per cent of respondents said they had more than one back burner. As the publication reported, “There was only a small difference in the number of back-burner relationships reported between singles and those in relationships. Indeed some 56 per cent of those in committed relationships reported having a back burner relationship, in other words, the majority of those in committed relationships had back burners.”
So, does this spell bad news for those in relationships? Not always. If someone is engaging heavily with their back burner, then it might be likely that they are setting themselves up for an exit strategy that allows them to have someone beside them when they end the relationship. But for the majority of people, the communication is far more innocent. Given that dating apps present a plethora of choices that make it nearly impossible to settle down, perhaps that ingrained sense of “having options” never really leaves us? Maybe even when we’re committed to someone else, just having the number of a potential back burner allows us to think we still have options - even if we never need them.