The Duct Tape
Muscles Worked: Triceps, abs
Gym Equivalent: Weighted dip
Why? The move is so-called because it is the most secure way she can possibly ‘grip’ you.
How? She lies back and raises her legs straight up in the air, one crossed over the other. Kneeling down in front of her, slide inside. Then lean backwards onto your hands to support your weight and bend at the elbow slightly. Rock in and out, but only very slightly to start with. The adhesion here is of the industrial variety.
The Crunch Master
Muscles Worked: Biceps, forearms, abdominals
Gym Equivalent: Crunch
Why? It’s a core workout better than any other – for you and her.
How? You stand facing her and she jumps up and hooks her legs around your waist for penetration. Slide your hands underneath her bum and hips, ask her to lean back at a 90-degree angle, before rising up to kiss you and repeating. Leaning and rising will test out the whole variety of penetrative angles, while you support her weight. Find your favourite angle and finish your session in that position.
Muscles Worked: Quads, hamstrings, core
Gym Equivalent: Back squat
Why? Get unrivalled friction for a broadband orgasm.
How? She sits on the edge of the bed and lifts her legs into the air pointing vertically at the ceiling, holding her ankles. Stand on the floor in front of her and place your hands behind her head to stop her from rolling backwards. Now make the connection.
The Circuit Board
Muscles Worked: Core, shoulders
Gym Equivalent: Barbell roll-out
Why? There are various points of contact, which means she willexperience orgasmic sensations in her entire pelvic region.
How? Start in missionary position and shift your body upwards so that the base of your penis presses firmly against her clitoris. She presses her pelvis upwards and experiments with wrapping her legs around your calves until she finds the spark. Consider this an electric treat, just for her.
The Easy Rider
Muscles Worked: Core, quads
Gym Equivalent: Bosu ball squat
Why? This position gives you a more intense way to mount her.
How? Start in good ol’ man-on-top missionary. Then, she closes her legs while you inch your body towards the headboard. Finally, you put your legs on the outside of hers, segueing into straddling her, while she keeps her legs tightly closed. Unconventional, yes. But this angle is guaranteed to hit her clitoris, and the suspension will be tighter than ever.
The Sports Massage
Muscles Worked: Forearms, wrist flexors
Gym Equivalent: Wrist curl
Why? She’ll need to trust you on this one. And you really need to trust us.
How? Start in a traditional reverse-cowgirl position: her on top, facing your feet. Then, bend your knees so she can lean forwards and rest her chest on them. This gives you access to her perineum (the area between her vagina and anus) which you can stroke gently with two wet fingers, enhancing her pleasure – and your grip strength.
The Farmer's Hold
Muscles Worked: Triceps, lats, lower back
Gym Equivalent: Deadlift
Why? Take the strain and both of you will benefit from the rush.
How? Stand with your back against the wall. Ask her to climb onto you and support her back while she ‘kneels’ against the wall, then tips over backwards and supports herself with her hands on the floor. She’ll enjoy the high of the blood rushing to her head; you can enjoy a strong-man power trip.
Muscles Worked: Core, glutes
Gym Equivalent: Kettlebell swing
Why? It makes locating the G-spot blissfully straightforward.
How? Whether you need directions or not, it is worth turning on. Place her on a counter and stand facing her with your arms around her lower back. With her hands on your shoulders, she raises her legs and props them on your shoulders. Talking in an amusing accent is discouraged.
Muscles Worked: Glutes, hip flexors, abs
Gym Equivalent: Leg lift
Why? It’s like yoga, but much more fun – receive the enlightenment of extra stimulation.
How? Start in the traditional ‘doggie’ position, then drop your hips back until kneeling with your legs in a V shape, your bum on the backs of your heels. She sits back on your lap with her feet making contact with your balls. Now rock happily to orgasm.
The Control Pad
Muscles Worked: Glutes, hamstrings, forearms
Gym Equivalent: Stablity ball leg-curl
Why? This makes good use of the co-ordination you’ve honed through years of gaming.
How? Lie on your side behind her, pull her hips against your groin. Slip her top leg over your hip, drawing it slightly back and begin to thrust. Now comes the dexterity. Combo stroking her clitoris, massaging her breasts, and kissing her neck for multiplier bonus points. Pinch her nipples to reach the high-score board.
Muscles Worked: Biceps, hip flexors
Gym Equivalent: Seated row
Why? Extreme depth and satisfying ‘closeness’.
How? Kneel down as she crouches on top, facing you. With your arms wrapped around each other for support, work up a pulsing motion, moving apart and together in unison, like a jellyfish. This angle allows for surprising depth of penetration. And by ‘closeness’, we mean that her boobs will rub against your chest.
Muscles Worked: Abs, hip flexors
Gym Equivalent: Leg raise
Why? If the ride to her G-spot has been a bumpy one, this position will certainly help.
How? She lies on her back with her knees close to her chest. Kneel in front of her, so that her feet are resting on your chest, and slide inside. Tilt forwards, hold onto her hips and bounce away.
Muscles Worked: Core, hamstrings
Gym Equivalent: Prison squat
Why? A faster connection to her vaginal nerves, for instant results.
How? It’s harder to plug in, but better for everyone: she kneels on all fours while you stand with your buttocks pressed to hers. Lean forwards until you can slide into her. Your reward for being bent slightly out of shape is a visual download straight off a porn site, while you get direct access to her G-spot.
Muscles Worked: Lower legs, glutes
Gym Equivalent: Calf raise
Why? For a fit that’s snugger than spandex - for any shape of man.
How? She stands facing a wall and lifts one leg to rest against it. Her arms should be up against the wall for support too, in the fashion of a ‘70s Spider-Man. You approach from the side and squeeze in. Use your hand on her clitoris to ensure the other kind of ‘wall-climbing’ ensues.
Muscles Worked: Hamstrings, quads, glutes
Gym Equivalent: Isometric lunge
Why? Relax and let her do the work.
How? Lie back with one leg bent. Ask her to straddle you sideways, with her back turned slightly towards your face. She holds your knee, then lowers herself onto you. Sweet.
Muscles Worked: Core, hamstrings
Gym Equivalent: Bridge
Why? Your legs will truly feel the force.
How? Lie on the bed with your bum at the edge of the bed, knees bent and legs spread in a Y-shape. She lies on top with her back against your chest, then slides onto you. As she gradually sits up, move her back and forth with your hands. Keep your legs raised the whole time so she can stroke your balls. Do not quote Star Wars.
The Sushi Chef
Muscles Worked: Shoulders, abdominals
Gym Equivalent: Pike crunch
Why? Fold, hold and roll for precision satisfaction.
How? She lies on her back with her bum right on the edge of the bed. Standing on the floor in front of her, place her ankles on your shoulders and slide inside. Then, gently push her ankles towards her ears. When she’s reached her bend-limit, drop both her knees to the left or right to change the spots you’re stimulating.